Day 3 – Relationships

This is the one where you remember a past experience that you were not authentic and play out the story in reverse. 

I am not remembering a particular story right now but I can think of a theme that used to play out for me.

Being everything to everyone all the time. If you asked me for help with ANYTHING, I would say yes. I would offer to help you with anything all the time. I did people’s house work, watched their kids, ran errands…etc. To the point of burnout and resentment. If I found myself in a place where I needed something, I didn’t ask and I also would be angry and upset that my friends weren’t there for me the way I was for them. I was such a good friend to everyone, why couldn’t they be a good friend to me?!?!?!

Ha! How could my friends show up for me when I didn’t even show up for myself…..right?!?!?!

I had to take a step back and stop trying to be a super hero. It clearly wasn’t making me happy. I stopped offering help all the time and I started to say no to everyone. (This is still very hard for me as I truly WANT to help, remember my Supporter personality type, hehe.) I really HAD to say no, even when I wanted and could help. I had to empower myself and stand firm in my words. This took years of practice. After  I learned to say yes to myself first, then I could be of service to others. 

Now I can show up for myself and my friends with my whole heart. I still occasionally over extend myself. I am still a work in progress but I am trying to #findbalance.

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